Kill me please.... I dont have money to live

He woke up at cock crow again and as usual, rinsed his face with a couple of splashes of water and looked towards his wife who was sleeping. Then he turned and watched his 3 children who all were sleeping in the same room. Their faces blank and their eyes closed, they looked so serene that for a moment he was caught in a flashback of memories. He saw his first son being born and oh what a joy he felt at that time being called father to a son. He remembers all his relatives wishing and congratulating him as he stood among them holding his firstborn in his arms.

He saw his second son being born in very difficult conditions as he had no money at that time so he had fewer wishes and fewer congratulations. He saw his first daughter when she was born to him, the rush of excitement he felt as he considered his family complete but

He also saw all those years that passed him by and all the troubles and the hardships he had to face. Having no considerable degree or education he was left with only one profession to follow, so he became a laborer. He saw as the inflation rate got higher and higher and his children got skinnier and skinnier. It felt like each particle of fat was removed from their body right in front of his eyes and there was nothing he could do about it. He worked from sunrise till sunset but couldn’t get enough green to give his children a proper meal.

He jerked all of these thoughts out if his mind and made way towards the front door and as he was about to go out he saw his youngest daughter following him. He stopped and looked towards her with an affectionate smile and she said “baba please bring apples today“.

These words reverberated in his mind for a couple of seconds, he wanted to tell her that they don’t have enough money, wanted to tell her about the market influx and everything but what does a 6 year old knows about money or salary or income or inflation. So he just replied “yes, I will”.

As he started the day’s work the words of her daughter kept taunting his mind, mocking him as if to dare him to do the inevitable. So he made up his mind that he will get them. What kind of father he would be if he can’t fulfill the little desires of his children. As he marched out of the working area with the day’s income in his hand, his destination was the market where he could get some fruits for his daughter.

When he reached the vendor and heard the voices of people saying apples 180 Rs to 200 Rs his brain just started spinning because the 300 Rs income was like …. Was like… nothing to him. He couldn’t control his emotions at that time and a tear trickled down his face and he looked up with eyes that were saying 

KILL ME NOW, I DON’T HAVE MONEY TO LIVE

From the ink of a soldier only a fraction of reality can be drawn, the rest… is left to the reader.

Why Kashmir conflict is a blessing

Many a times I’ve found myself in a discussion rather to call it a heated discussion about the Kashmir issue. It is quite fascinating to see how people give arguments about the conflicted region and pardon me to say it aloud each and every single person present gives a unique description of it. Not to mention the fact that how easily they present a solution this is viable in their sense of knowledge. Let me proclaim at this point that I am not a protagonist of suppressing freedom of speech but it’s just the fact that the ideas they present, the solution they give are such ludicrous that it’s like rubbing the lamp of Aladdin and ending all hardships in a jiffy.
I don’t call myself an expert on the matter but isn’t it quite obvious why the Kashmir issue is so much crucial for us, for the army and for the establishment. It’s just so rue some that the common man can’t see the relation here.

First take in account the strategic location of Pakistan being surrounded by India, China, Iran, Afghanistan and the Arabian Sea out of which only India can be declared as an enemy or a threat. Now why do we call India an enemy not because we fought three wars with her but due to the fact that it has control over a region that we claim as ours, Kashmir. The people that get killed there are our very own people and their pain is our own, that’s why we call India an enemy.

Now lets take an account of the army that we are having; we have 650,000 active troops and 500,000 reserve troops almost a total of 12 lakh of people currently employed by army for warfare, which of course by any standard a huge army considering a country of our size.

And the sole reason of keeping this army is the Kashmir conflict, due to which we call India a threat.

Lets say if by any miracle of God this issue is resolved then what will happen? A very simple explanation here. UN will simply say that Iran and Afghanistan are Muslim countries and your friends, China is a big ally of yours and your conflict with India is solved and you have no imminent threat from them.

THEN WHY IS PAKISTAN KEEPING SUCH A HUGE ARMY AND DEFENCE BUDGET.

So Pakistan must disband her humongous army and send them home. Now we can’t be having this situation can we but on paper the demand from UN is right in essence. As we have no need for such army then why are we keeping it, by doing so disturbing the balance of power in the region.

From the ink of a soldier a very brief account of happenings can be written and yes, Kashmir is a blessing.

Prologue

Many a times in life it becomes evident that the things aren’t going your way. So what is there to be done in such circumstances…?
Perceiving as a soldier, strictly speaking, its not a big deal.
But in reality it is a tad hard job then it seems it is.
what the general masses thinks is that being a ” foji “  means that you are exempted from all such feelings that can be placed under the heading of emotions, but what is there to be asked is that how is it possible to simply exempt a man from all links to humanity by removing the last inches of saneness.
Wrong!
Vivid images of past comes and haunt everyone in a manner such grotesque that it leaves an impact so the more brutal the past is, the more strong the images are and consequently the stronger the impact.
People can criticize all they like about the army eating all the budgets and acquiring all the lands but the simple soldier who has nothing to do with the monopoly of the big guns has nothing to say what so ever in the whole scenario. He is duty bound to obey and protect the ideological boundaries of the country, which is he is doing up to the limits of perfection.
So why is he being the center of criticism…?
Just because he shares the same color as the people residing in the upper echelons.
I still remember there was a time quite a while ago when all the army and its wings were respected and hailed as the prime mover of the country. Whenever anywhere in the village areas the army was conducting any exercise and the whole convoy used to pass from a little market of some sort there were kids surrounding all the trucks and the vehicles and the whole convoy used to slow down just in order to let the kids have a better look. Even the elders enjoyed the whole procession by waving hands or looking towards them in a fashion that can be called as polite and understanding.
Why aren’t these kinds of moments being seen now a days.
All blame can’t be just placed on a hatred that has developed rather evolved in a recent years…
so what is it then
from the ink of a soldier only a little description of happenings can be portrayed.
Rest all is left for the conscious mind…..!