Souled Out

In an inert atmosphere, where one could hear a fly buzzing. Lying on my bed I could see the fan covered with dust as if I never used it. It was the middle of winter probably December and the clock was showing thirteen to three. A sun beam was coming into my room directly over my face probably trying to irritate me. I was least bothered about it. Though this apathetic behavior of mine made me quit, declaring everything on God’s earth an immutable one. Deep thought about what happened in my past and what could be the aftermath, compelled my conscience to fight with me. But my pugnacious behavior buried my conscience deep under the cherishing memories. Though reminisce could never be the part of my life as nothing good or worth mentioning happened in my long boring life.

            Ummmmm…. Memories flashing in my mind, fading in and out. But some as clear as my existence and my presence. My childhood, love of my parents, my first day at school, watching beautiful girls in my adolescence, planning to tease friends. All these memories made my lips smile though they were rough.

The clock seemed to be proud of ticking away time. It was showing twelve after three. I was worried something bad would happen or had the premonition of unfavorable winds that would drift the clouds of my wishes to the barren mountains of despair and would desolate the world of my heart. Or my wishes and plans would be buried deep under the age and no one would be able to help me out. Was that feeling due to the fact that I lost my friend or some girlfriend of mine betrayed me? It was still unclear to me but I had the idea that something dear to me is leaving me for good.

            The ticking of clock was getting faster for me and my epileptic head set everything rotating. It was seventeen after three and my soul departed.

          That gave me the answer. It was my soul who left me alone in the grave. Reason of despair was not the departure of my dear soul. But the painful feeling was “I LOST MY LIFE”. I loved my life for a noble cause. I wish I had one more life to accomplish that noble cause. For that the soul had to be the sole part of my mission. But it left me to lead a boring life in the grave.

                                                                     The dead man writing.




courtesy: Capt Furqan Ahmed, EME
a great friend and an even better person.