Kill me please.... I dont have money to live

He woke up at cock crow again and as usual, rinsed his face with a couple of splashes of water and looked towards his wife who was sleeping. Then he turned and watched his 3 children who all were sleeping in the same room. Their faces blank and their eyes closed, they looked so serene that for a moment he was caught in a flashback of memories. He saw his first son being born and oh what a joy he felt at that time being called father to a son. He remembers all his relatives wishing and congratulating him as he stood among them holding his firstborn in his arms.

He saw his second son being born in very difficult conditions as he had no money at that time so he had fewer wishes and fewer congratulations. He saw his first daughter when she was born to him, the rush of excitement he felt as he considered his family complete but

He also saw all those years that passed him by and all the troubles and the hardships he had to face. Having no considerable degree or education he was left with only one profession to follow, so he became a laborer. He saw as the inflation rate got higher and higher and his children got skinnier and skinnier. It felt like each particle of fat was removed from their body right in front of his eyes and there was nothing he could do about it. He worked from sunrise till sunset but couldn’t get enough green to give his children a proper meal.

He jerked all of these thoughts out if his mind and made way towards the front door and as he was about to go out he saw his youngest daughter following him. He stopped and looked towards her with an affectionate smile and she said “baba please bring apples today“.

These words reverberated in his mind for a couple of seconds, he wanted to tell her that they don’t have enough money, wanted to tell her about the market influx and everything but what does a 6 year old knows about money or salary or income or inflation. So he just replied “yes, I will”.

As he started the day’s work the words of her daughter kept taunting his mind, mocking him as if to dare him to do the inevitable. So he made up his mind that he will get them. What kind of father he would be if he can’t fulfill the little desires of his children. As he marched out of the working area with the day’s income in his hand, his destination was the market where he could get some fruits for his daughter.

When he reached the vendor and heard the voices of people saying apples 180 Rs to 200 Rs his brain just started spinning because the 300 Rs income was like …. Was like… nothing to him. He couldn’t control his emotions at that time and a tear trickled down his face and he looked up with eyes that were saying 

KILL ME NOW, I DON’T HAVE MONEY TO LIVE

From the ink of a soldier only a fraction of reality can be drawn, the rest… is left to the reader.